Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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