I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
