i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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