What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
