Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize