we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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