What a fucking waste of an outfit
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
