I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
