wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
