I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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