brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
