I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
