so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
