im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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