He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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