Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He told me they were just razor bumps!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
