Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
