She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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