How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
