We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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