She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think i have two assholes
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
