Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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