He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize