In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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