Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This is my gift to your gina
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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