You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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