Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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