Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
