I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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