You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
