the condom got lost in my hair
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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