Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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