last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
