Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Randomize
