I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
