seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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