you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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