Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
