She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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