Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize