I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
