they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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