ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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