i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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