u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just pee around me
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
