To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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