I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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