bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
