Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Holy shit dude........stairs
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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