I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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