it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
