WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
And then he peed in my hair
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