A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
