I smell stomach acid.
I wish you could order shots online.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
